donnalotus | The “old me” and $$$

This could also be called “Budgets – and how they limited the old me.”

When we were in Hawai’i, one of the places we went to visit was the Warm Ponds at Ahalanui Park in Kapoho. From her website, she shares the mo’olelo (story) of the Warm Ponds and its healing properties.

“The Mo'olelo-story about the pool is said to be a place of "renewal, rebirth" as it duplicates the womb, as one is comforted within the warmth of the pool, with nature's mixture of "just the right amount" of fresh life-giving water, with "just enough" heat, from Pele's steam vents, along with "just enough" salt from the ocean; all elements in balance to stimulate cellular memories of time before time, to beginning essence, life in water, the return to the womb; and according to the elders, one leaves the pool, "brand new," a new keiki - child rebirthed.”

The aspect of rebirth was really stressed to us, and we were instructed to speak of anything from our past, anything that affected us in a negative manner, as being of “the old me”. The reason for doing this is because once we have been reborn from the Warm Ponds we have shed all the old programming and old ways that were not serving us. If we do find a need to refer to the old way that we once were, we can do so by saying “the old me”, this creates a separation in the mana’o (the mind) between what once was, and what thought patterns it can act on, that we are creating from now.

One thing that I have noticed in particular is my approach to money now. When in Hawai’i I took a certain amount of spending money. By the end of the trip I’d used it all, and then I found a few items at a gift store that I knew I just had to get for myself – they were pieces of jewellery that I had, in my heart, been looking for during the entire trip. I decided to use my credit card to buy them.

I already knew that the “old me” had spent a bit on the credit card already, so the “old me” hesitated for a moment before I realised in my heart, that I have an abundance of money and energy flowing toward me. I saw in my mana’o a clear picture of everything being paid off very quickly in a matter of months, and even though the “old me” wondered how that would come about, the me that is now decided not to worry about the mechanics of it (something Neaulani had said to me) and just trust that it already was paid in full.

I have not worried about money since I got back. I haven’t even LOOKED at my budget other than to remind myself what bills needed to be paid this week. I realised that the old me spent an incredible amount of time stressing, worrying, consulting, re-shuffling and in general limiting herself by her budget. The old me was always looking at it, wondering where she was going to find that extra amount of money to pay an unexpected bill, or to cover extra groceries or whatever the issue was at the time.

One of the biggest things that the old me did was monitor the credit card balance constantly; the old me put it into the budget along with how much was getting paid off every fortnight, putting every little spare cent into getting it paid off. But the balance never seemed to go down! Just as it would get low, a car repair would occur, or something else which would send the balance right back up to where it had been in the first place!

The concept of what you focus on is what you create isn’t new to me, yet here the old me was focusing on the lack of funds she had to pay off what was a large amount of money, and never making any progress. The whole time she was looking at the BALANCE and focusing on that – no wonder it wasn’t going DOWN!

I don’t look at the budget anymore. I take a quick peek once a fortnight on pay day because it also tells me what bills are due for that part of the month, but I don’t look at balances, I don’t look at the “plan”. I just pay what needs to be paid, and I put the rest on the credit card, and it’s already 1/3 of the way toward being $0 balance, and I’ve only been back in Australia two weeks!

I don’t feel that tension that I used to have around money anymore – I don’t have that fear of running out, not having enough, not being provided for. I feel connected to Spirit, to Aumakua, that I know I will be looked after, I know that everything is in divine order and all I need to do is keep working toward my goals, bringing the island (dream) to me, and not worry so much about the mechanics, the how, just knowing that all of that is being worked out by na Aumakua, na Akua, na Kupuna, and I just have to put in the order and trust that it is being filled.