What Is Write Every Day? A roving writing support community, with a bias toward encouraging a daily writing habit. It's a decentralized community, without moderators or a fixed home; hosting duties are passed around among members of the community. carenejeans hosted the first half of April; I'm hosting the second half, starting on the sixteenth. (By my time-zone: tomorrow.) zwei_hexenkeeps a list of who volunteered to host when.. No one is yet scheduled for May -- it could be you!
Housekeeping As host, I'll be publishing daily check-in posts, distributing encouragement in the comments, and keeping a tally of who checked in what day. I'm in Pacific Daylight Time (UTC -7), and plan to post the daily check-in during my evening. (About when this post went up.) I know my proposed posting time is very late for many people, so don't feel you have to wait for the new day's post -- just check in on the most recent post whenever is convenient for you. Whatever post you use, please include what day you're checking in for, so I can keep the tally straight.
I'll also be using a consistent tag for these check-in posts ("write every day") so feel free to block or follow that, depending on your interest.
If you have any questions, or wish to check-in ahead of tomorrow's post, the comments are open! Welcome!
The title says it all, but this book is so much more, minions. Check out my review where I share my top 5 tips from the book; total game changers if you have ADHD or live with someone who does.
Sometimes I see cakes that are so undeniably Wrecky that I'm almost ashamed of myself for thinking they're cute. I'm not sure how such a thing is possible, either - are they flukes? Slips of the piping bags? The inevitable result of a million Wreckerators working on a million cupcakes? The world may never know. Or care.
Who's a cute widdle turd!?
Sure, it may look like a pile of poo on the banks of the Jungle Cruise*, but it's actually supposed to be a cat. Or maybe a lion. With a monkey tail. Regardless, see how the decorator compels us to overlook its blatant turdiness with his/her skillful application of puppy...cat eyes?
* Explanation for Non-Disney Geeks - See, the water on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disney is often dyed a shocking shade of blue-green. I think you have to be decontaminated if you fall in.**
**Follow-up from Jen: Puh-lease, "decontaminated"? It's just a little tetanus shot.
This next one makes use of the "two-cupcakes-drowning-in-icing-on-an-oversized-cakeboard" approach:
See? It's a cow. Or maybe ground beef. ("What do you call a cow with no legs, Alex?") Or Beef Stroganoff. ("A cow with noodles for legs?")
How can I tell it's a cow, and not a spotted dog with an awesome bouffant 'do sitting on a robot*? By reading the "moo" in the barren desert of cake board, that's how. [tapping temple] Skills. I gots 'em.
*Picture the nostrils as eyes for a minute - you'll see it. (Note: alcohol helps.)
Here's another one, fortified with rich, healthy irony:
An embarrassed skunk letting out a little toot, or a Wreckerator letting out a little workplace aggression? More importantly: which makes you hungrier?
Next is a real fluke; it's both the Wreckiest and the cutest cake for today:
A Wreckerator sets out to make a frog and ends up with a sloppy cross-eyed face with jowls, and yet it's still adorable? Now that's luck. (Dig the candle horns.)
And finally, we have the origin of the term “duck lips.”
Better take a selfie before the swelling goes down.
Thanks to Wreckporters Tim, Megan, Kristi M., Leigh S., and Linden S.!
*****
P.S. Here's a (hilarious) reminder that English is almost as confusing as these cakes:
So now that Spring is officially here, you know what's coming, right?
That's right: wedding season.
[rubbing hands together gleefully]
BRING ON THE WEDDING WRECKAGE!
Let's kick things off with a lovely Spring Fling inspiration:
...that in execution got a little, well, flung:
I like to imagine that this was delivered on the back of the baker's scooter, and that those smushed fondant butterflies on the sides were all tragic road casualties. Because, somehow, that actually makes this more excusable/believable.
What the baker says:
"Yes, I can do that!"
What the baker means:
"Yes, I have some shiny ribbon!"
Maybe at the reception they shone a spotlight on the ribbon so the glare would blind all the onlookers. That's what I would do.
Oh, hey...maybe that was the baker's plan all along!
Bride: "That looks TERRI..."
Baker: [flashing ribbon]
Bride: "I CAN'T SEE! Where'd you go? Are you here? Where's the cake? Hey! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!"
[sound of running feet]
This next one could be a metaphor for life and love in so many ways. Not that I mean anything by that, fellas. 'Cuz I don't. So never mind. In fact, can we not talk about this anymore, please? It's just a cake, ok? SHEESH.
EXPECTATION:
REALITY:
Waw-waaaaaw.
Because wedding cakes are like marriages: some settling may occur.
Thanks to Valentina V., Michele W., & Paula B. for sharing their wedding day woes.We're here for you, ladies. Right after we finish laughing.
*****
P.S. I'm back with a more useful stress-reliever. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:
Back in 2014 I published a fusion of Elementary and Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century called "Persistence of Memory." It was always meant to be a longer story, but because of the urgency of due dates (it was written for the holmestice exchange), it was necessary to publish the first chapter as a stand-alone.
Which worked fine. Over the next little while I wrote a second chapter, and bits and bobs of a third, before laying it aside for other writing projects. Except for some excerpts on tumblr, I never published any of the continuation, wanting to wait until the whole thing was finished.
Now, twelve years later, it seems silly to have that second chapter just sitting in my WIP file, unavailable to people who might care about it.
Elementary x Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century Joan, Sherlock, Robo!Watson Fusion, Angst, Wrong Watson Feelings ~9000 words, Gen, No warnings apply.
Joan Watson has had her life ripped out from under her, a kidnapping and cryosleep marooning her in the twenty-second century. At least Sherlock is here—and, due to some blackly humorous twist of fate, so is Jamie Moriarty.
And so is a compudroid that calls itself Watson.
Joan rebuilds her life from the ashes. And maybe catches an international criminal mastermind along the way.
A couple of notes:
This will not make sense without having read "Persistence of Memory" first.
This is very much a work in progress: updates will happen whenever they happen, and I make no guarantees of completion.
That said, most nights I'm watching a double feature of a SH22C episode and an Elementary episode, and in the last couple of weeks I've written new words on chapter three (or what will be chapter two of Perseverance). The main obstacle to finishing this was my main obstacle twelve years ago: I've got to work out a bloody casefic for it. That said, I've written a handful of casefic in the last decade, so I know more now about how to do that than I did then. So we'll see how it goes!
So sweet! Combined with the dripping floral vines it has a surprisingly light, spring-time feel to it.
You don't see many intricate string work cakes in the U.S. anymore; it's just too fragile and time-consuming, and if you live anywhere with humidity? Fuggitaboutit.
P.S. My favorite black-and-white purchase EVER is our magnetic menu board. The design I use is back-ordered, but here's a similar style that's actually a better price:
I've been raving about our planner for over two years; we use it every week, and it still looks brand new! I love that it comes with chalk markers, then after those wear out its fun switching up the colors. (I'm on my 3rd set of markers, and this time I chose Vintage Pastels. SO PRETTY.)
Mine cost $20, but this one is on sale for less than $10. Score.
This menu board is a sanity-saver, minions: John and I decide the week's menu every Sunday, so no more asking each other what's for dinner every night. It's also great for keeping a shopping list and leaving each other notes and doodles, then easily wipes clean with water.
I keep forgetting to post about this: we've been troubleshooting the "missing notifications" problem for the past few days. (Well, I say "we", really I mean Mark and Robby; I'm just the amanuensis.) It's been one of those annoying loops of "find a logical explanation for what could be causing the problem, fix that thing, observe that the problem gets better for some people but doesn't go away completely, go back to step one and start again", sigh.
Mark is hauling out the heavy debugging ordinance to try to find the root cause. Once he's done building all the extra logging tools he needs, he'll comment to this entry. After he does, if you find a comment that should have gone to your inbox and sent an email notification but didn't, leave him a link to the comment that should have sent the notification, as long as the comment itself was made after Mark says he's collecting them. (I'd wait and post this after he gets the debug code in but I need to go to sleep and he's not sure how long it will take!)
We're sorry about the hassle! Irregular/sporadic issues like this are really hard to troubleshoot because it's impossible to know if they're fixed or if they're just not happening while you're looking. With luck, this will give us enough information to figure out the root cause for real this time.
"Welcome back to round one of the National Wreck Bowl, folks. Our reigning champion, Pat Wüfflehausen, has filled his pastry bags and is ready to attempt a new world record.
"Greg, this is obviously a huge challenge for Wüffelshausen. What do you think he's feeling right now?
"Well, he ate the same lunch we did, Pete, so probably nauseous and constipated."
"Hey, I did warn you about those samosas, buddy. Aaaand here we go! Our champ is now in position. Looks like he's assessing the area...he's preparing to pipe...and...
"A-HA! Would you look at that? Right out of the gate, he has destroyed the first word!"
"Tell me, Greg, how many points would you say that misspelling is worth?"
"Oh, I have no idea."
"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"
"Well, I'd probably spill it."
"No, no, I mean...Uh, tell you what, let's just move on to round two."
"YES!! Wüfflehausen just manages to knock out the second word! That was quite a close call, turning the 'I' into an 'E', don't you think, Greg?"
"Only when absolutely necessary, Pete."
"Haha, sounds good. Well, folks, this is it: the final round. And, uh-oh! Look what just got plunked down on the playing field!
"Greg, it's going to be pretty tough for Wüfflehausen to misspell "achieve" with that star stamp right next to him. Do you think he can pull it off?
"Well, sure! It's just a tiny plastic pick - probably doesn't weigh a thing."
"No, no, sorry, that was my fault there, Greg. I mean, do you think he can do it?"
"Do what?"
"Right, let's get back to the action! The crowd is hushed with anticipation, and you can almost feel the tension in the air, can't you, Greg?"
"Abso-lutely not!"
"And here we go...and, oh! Oh! It looks like he could...go...all..the...way!
"YES!! Do you believe in miracles?!?"
"Well, there was that time my mother-in-law fell down the stairs..."
"And that's a new World Record! To those of you at home, thanks for tuning in, and good night!"
Annie, I think I'd call this the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating.
This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.
HI JOHNNY YATES HERE FOR THE ORIGINAL PAN-TASTIC ALL-IN-ONE CAKE PAN. THE FASTEST, EASIEST, SAFEST WAY TO BAKE AND DECORATE ANY CAKE YOU CAN IMAGINE... GUARANTEED! JUST LOOK AT THESE RESULTS:
This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop reading it.
Over on her site there's a companion egg cake with a slice out, though, and there are 4 or 5 layers in there! Swooning over the soft colors and that perfect flower swag.
Now, listen: Easter is coming. That means a lot of long hours, hard work, and painstaking effort on your part to ensure we make some of the most beautif...BWAHAHAHA!!
AHAHAHAHAA!!
[wiping eyes] Sorry, sorry! I really thought I'd get through that with a straight face this year. Heehee!
Right: start your airbrushes! I'll see you back here in five.
Bee-YOO-tiful.
Nice aim on those jelly beans, Jim!
And good call on the "Peep Peep." That'll clue 'em in it's not a swan or a banana or something.
Not bad, but I can still see a little icing. Can we get a little more plastic in here?
And speaking of plastic, here's a great recycling tip:
St. Patrick would be proud.
And remember, bakers: the more plastic, the less time, skill, and hassle!
I made this one in 15 seconds.
With my feet.
(Aaaand that'll be $14.99, please. Cha-ching!)
And lastly, I don't actually know what this is...
...but it looks like a really efficient use of time. So let's make a few dozen more.
Thanks to Stephanie J., Angela M., Alexandra M., Shay K., Tony D., Diana Y., & Stephanie R., who think that's supposed to be a bunny rabbit.
[staring in stunned silence]
Well, one thing's for sure: You're not getting a Peep out of me.
Hi, it's john with Pan-Wow. This pan is shaped like a heart but it's also a pan so you can make cakes that are shaped like a heart.
A regular pan can only make cakes that look like a circle or a square, but the Pan-Wow can make a cake that looks like anything. Look at this apple.
You can't get an apple cake out of a round pan. Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's an apple.
Use it at home, in the bakery, in the car or the boat. Going to a Halloween party?
Pan-Wow.
Oh, no. Is that a ghost?
No. It's a Pan-Wow.
Going tailgating at the football game?
Pan-Wow.
When you're done, just throw it in the dishwasher. It's metal. It's shaped like a heart. Look at these balloons:
There's three different colors. You could use four colors. Or five. It doesn't matter. Pan-Wow.
Made in Germany. You know the Germans always make good stuff. Use it for Christmas:
Why not? It's a Pan-Wow. It's a heart and it's Santa Claus.
What's that? You're graduating?
Now it's a hat. Amazing.
Got a steak? Put it in the Pan-Wow.
It's a heart and it's a steak. It's like a heart steak. But it could also be an apple/scary Halloween/ football/balloon steak. So many uses.
Is that the Easter Bunny?
Pan-Wow.
And if you comment within the next five minutes, we'll give you a Pan-Wow absolutely free.* You can't beat that. Order now.
Thanks to Lisa S., Erin M., Shelley B., Melissa G., Marie H., Cristina Z., Jyap, Sarah S., and Anna C. who don't mind the three easy payments of $29.95.
*Plus shipping and handling. Other charges may apply. Pan-Wow may not be made in Germany. Pan-Wow may not be metal. Pan-Wow may not be shaped like a heart. Pan-Wow may not enjoy being taunted.
*****
P.S. You know what's even better than baking in heart-shaped things? Wearing heart-shaped things.