Everyone has an opinion

It's been a frustrating couple of days. Trying to figure out why Declan has been so belly achy. I finally hit on the feeling that it's the formula that we've been using to supplement the breastfeeding. I did some more research and found out a lot of people actually have trouble with the S-26 formula we've been using - including tummy aches, excessive wind, ballooning weight gain, and even constipation. This sounds a lot like my poor little boy at the moment. I feel like a total failure and have been beating myself up about it ever since. I was pressured into the formula by Mum, who had me convinced that my breastmilk must simply not be good enough.

This was an easy convince, considering the stress I've been dealing with in relation to the MIL and then feeling like Declan was never satisfied. I had myself convinced as well. Instead of sticking with it just that little bit longer, I caved in and started formula because I came down with a really bad cold, and I couldn't stop coughing. The coughing was so bad I had to take cough medicine just to stop the continual barking... and you can't take cough medicine when you're breast feeding. So I stopped altogether for about 2-3 days while I got better from the cold. It's been an uphill battle ever since to convince both Mum and Michael that he needs to be taken off the formula altogether.

We finally decided to purchase an electric breast pump to use in between feeds to hopefully increase milk supply up to a large amount for more regular feedings so I dont have to use formula in the near future. In the meantime I've purchased an organic formula from a company in Tasmania that has rave reviews. People who had been on S-26 and experiencing all the the above issues found that the wind and constipation disappeared as soon as they switched to this formula, so if I have to continue to use it occasionally then I'm praying that this will at least be a better option for him.

I'm getting stronger. I'm able to put my foot down about a lot of things that I've been feeling pressured about from other people. I'm just still so tired, and that makes me weak because I just don't have the energy to put up the fight - even when I know I should do so. I can just keep going as I am and get stronger, hopefully it will get easier with the differing opinions on how I should raise my child as I put my foot down more often about it.

Electric Pump

So far the electric breast pump is doing really well. I haven't been pumping much because I still want to keep some in the breast for the baby, but I got 20ml earlier this morning and just now pumped about 30ml. This will do a "top up" for Declan later on in the day. We'll still have to use formula for a little bit until my breasts catch up to this new "more frequent" use and make more milk (or at least, that's the plan if they really do produce milk to the demand). Hopefully in a few days I'll be able to pump enough milk in between normal feeds to supplement when the breasts seem dry, or Declan is having a hard time getting milk out of them.

I found an interesting article here about Chronic Low Milk Supply. I read some of this and think, well I had/have at least five of those stimuli that can bring about a low milk supply... it's devastating really when all you want to do is feed your baby, and it's incredibly, incredibly frustrating when you get pro-BF people in your face saying basically "formula = the devil, you're going to Hell!" or something to that extreme when you say you have to supplement with formula because you're just not making enough milk. Then it becomes a case of "well what are you doing wrong?"  Maybe I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm doing everything I've been told to do and then some and it still doesn't seem to be enough. Like new mothers don't have enough to worry about without being made to feel guilty or bullied about breastfeeding.

Link: http://www.mobimotherhood.org/MM/article-lms.aspx